im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize