He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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