tell your sister to shave her snatch
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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