i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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