So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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