Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
