They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
