Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
