do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Randomize