i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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