Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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