@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
