suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
