my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
