Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Who put my cat in the fridge?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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