He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
how drunk are you?
Several
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
