the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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