Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
