Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
