I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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