how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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