He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
