We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
