I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the day after is always just damage control
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
