And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
