We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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