i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
