I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
