I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize