Do you still have your period?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
