so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
