I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
