I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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