What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize