Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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