called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize