i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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