k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
