A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
