I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize