you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
