I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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