So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
