After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize