so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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