YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
