My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
zippers are such a cool invention
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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