So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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