I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize