im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize