Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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