Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
