like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Randomize
