So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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