the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
