There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
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