so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i need some magic done to my vagina
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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