$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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