Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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