she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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