i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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