Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
