theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
