haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
