Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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