I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
