if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
