Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
