My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
