U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
